Fathers’ likelihood of using parental leave is linked to prevailing social norms, employer support and workplace culture. Additionally, all fathers prioritised the health and wellbeing of the mother and baby, and this influenced their thinking about reserved and concurrent periods of paid parental leave.

(i) Social norms

While parents felt it was becoming more socially acceptable for fathers to stay at home and care for their children, there were still ‘unspoken’ social and cultural norms that mothers should be doing the bulk of the caring work. Important practical issues such as the time required for the birth mother to recover and establish breastfeeding, and the need for economic security where the father’s income was higher than the mother’s were also cited as important drivers around the use of paid parental leave.

When reflecting on why mothers would take most of the leave, parents felt it was still the cultural norm in Australia that mothers, not fathers, would want to do the bulk of caregiving for a baby.

To me, I would probably give it all to my missus. Honestly, in my head, I’m thinking mum always needs to be there. It’s just how I see things. Mum needs to be there. So if I’m getting 2 weeks, I think great. If I’m getting no weeks, I’ll be like, oh man, I want something. But if you were to give me a choice whether we go halves or not, I wouldn’t be upset to be like, “No, you can have it all. It’s okay”. (Andy, middle income, CALD)

It's still less acceptable [for men to take parental leave]… it’s the unspoken stuff. (Peter, middle income)

To me, it makes more sense having Amelia at home with the babies, (a) breastfeeding, (b) [she’s] a bit more nurturing than me, and personally, I think she’s got a bit more patience than me in terms of parenting. So I think it’s the personality type also that played a role. (Kabir, high income, CALD)

(ii) Employer attitudes

Parents felt that it was more difficult for fathers to take parental leave than mothers and that father’s ability to do so hinged on having a ‘good boss’ who was family oriented. Fathers with supportive employers reported that it was easy to take leave, work flexibly or remotely, and stay home with their family.

My employer supported me being with my family when, on paper, I belonged in Adelaide… I requested that I be allowed to work remotely from Newcastle, and they said yes. So, I do believe my employer supported me in sort of nurturing, or to the best possible way, [supporting] my family. (Kabir, high income, CALD)

I think it’s really important to point out that his experience with his role, he had a very good boss who was very family oriented and supportive and understanding. And I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily the norm. So, I think he just struck gold with that boss. (Amelia, high income, CALD)

Fathers without supportive employers recalled negative and stressful experiences when taking parental leave, for example in cases where their partner went into labour earlier than expected and employers questioned their need to take immediate leave.

When [Alexia] was pregnant with … our second child, she’d come early. And I remember calling my employer and said, “Hey, mate. [Alexia’s] waters had broken.” And the straw that broke the camel’s back in that working relationship was not like, “Oh, congratulations” or anything. It was like, “But she’s early.” I was working for 10 years. And that’s the response you have. So ever since that, I was out of there. I looked for another job in a similar position. (David, middle income)